In the moment: safety before a lesson
Step in when someone is being hurt. Move children apart and keep them supervised. Check for injury and comfort the person who was hit. Keep your voice steady and your words brief; a long explanation can wait.
A few words to adapt
Our example: “I am stopping this. Hands cannot hurt people. We will stand over here together.” If your child can listen, you might add: “You wanted the bus. I can help you ask for a turn.” You can acknowledge the wish without allowing the hit.
If your toddler hits you
Create enough space to keep your body safe while you supervise. Our example: “I will move back. I am here to help when your hands are safe.” Hitting back does not model the response you want to teach. If you feel close to losing control, ask another trusted adult to take over when possible.
Later: rehearse one small alternative
When your child has settled, choose one action to practice: asking for help, saying “stop,” or moving away. Our original toy-play example uses two toy animals and one large toy bus. One animal wants the bus; the other is still playing. Let a grown-up animal help the first ask for a later turn. Keep it brief and playful, without reenacting a real incident or requiring your child to perform. Use age-appropriate toys.
Notice what happens just before
For your own notes, record the setting and what happened immediately before the hit. Look for patterns around waiting, crowded play or changes of activity. Share observations with other caregivers so you can plan a consistent response. These notes are clues for a conversation, not a diagnosis.
When a sibling is involved
Keep the child who was hurt protected while helping the other child settle. Our example: “You can want that toy, and your sister can keep her turn. I will help you wait.” Stay close during the next shared activity rather than asking a sibling to manage the conflict.
Your plan for next time
Use these prompts on paper or in the free text download. These blanks are not a form; nothing is sent to us.
- What happened just before: __________________
- Who needs space or comfort first: __________________
- A short boundary we can use consistently: __________________
- One alternative to practice later: __________________
- What to discuss with another caregiver or our pediatrician: __________________
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When to ask for more support
Contact your child’s pediatrician if hitting persists, causes injuries, leads to exclusion from play or childcare, or makes you afraid for anyone’s safety. You can ask for help sooner if you are struggling to manage it. Seek prompt medical care for an injury that needs attention. A story or worksheet cannot assess why the behavior is happening.
A story, if you would like one
Talk about it through an invented character.
In The Red Bridge, a young fox wants a toy and a nearby adult helps keep another character safe. Read the complete free story at a calm time, then invite a question about what Kit could do next. The story is for shared reading, not a treatment or a promise that hitting will stop.
Read The Red BridgeA story can open a conversation. It does not guarantee a change in feelings or behavior.
Parenting resources
The general ideas above draw on these resources. The sample dialogue, games and note prompts are original editorial examples from Tuck In Books; the linked organizations do not endorse our books.
About this guide
By Tuck In Books. General ideas for family conversations; not an individual assessment or treatment plan. Published 2026-10-03.